she's just saying...

Don't go chasing waterfalls

Done. Really. Now we just sit back, swat mosquitoes and watch the tadpoles grow.

Most common question to date from visitors: "Was that rock already there?"   I. Am. Not. Kidding.

Terrible news from a friend

I just heard that a member of our knitting group has had a tragedy in the family. She's asked for knitted items for her cousin's family recovering in the burn unit. Please send her your best wishes and caring thoughts. Another reminder that life is random and precarious, so hug the next kids you see, yours or not.

To my lovely lurkers

Alright, you people. What's it going to take to get you to comment on this blog? Other than that Chatty Kathi, my bro, Amber and the occasional work/knitting bud, I never hear nothing from nobody. Are you all mute? (What's the computer equivalent of mute - keyboard-challenged?)

Sorry, just had to go off there. I do appreciate your readership, however silent. Seriously though, I'm getting a complex. Actually, yet another complex. And I already have plenty, what with only dating younger men who won't commit. But that's another post.

c'mon get happy

I'm all about UPBEAT! on this blog, and last night's post didn't measure up.  So here is a list of

Things making me happy this morning:

1. Not working
2. The perfect weather for not working
3. Getting kitty hickies from my latest kitten
4. The consulting work I'm doing (& getting paid for)
5. Henry's summer of camp, bikes & squirt guns
6. Blueberries are on sale at Costco
7. My knitting group drinks wine meets here tomorrow
8. My friend Mary & her crazy puppy who stay here weekends
9. The tadpoles growing in my pond-ette
10. Dressing like I was 12 all day (shorts/tank top/flipflops)

The absence of pain

Soaking in my hot tub tonight, I was thinking about all the times I had been there before, deeply in love and deeply in pain. I was struck with a realization. Sometimes, just a little, I miss the pain of breaking up.

I know that might disturb and perplex a few. You'll have to trust me when I say I'm not a masochist. I have a healthy sense of self-preservation and regard and (now and then) know what's best for me. Things are fine, everything's going alright, life is nice. I enjoy the simple pleasures of family, home and friends and spending time with myself: I enjoy my company. And I'm proud of myself for getting out of that destructive cycle of "make up to break up" (yes, I grew up in the 70's). But still . . .

Tonight I realized that that intense emotional state, be it love or pain, has left a sort of dullness now that it's gone.

Maybe this is what it's like to recover from addiction. Both the highs AND lows were somehow meaningful - the pleasure/pain receptors were firing and all that. Of course I don't wish for it to come back, and god forbid I ever go through that pain again. But I was feeling something deeply, and I guess I miss that intensity.

I may read this in disbelief tomorrow. But tonight, I just don't feel much of anything, and it's not just the wine.

Mowing

Dad and Henry, North Carolina 2003

I felt a little like my dad yesterday afternoon. Got all sweaty mowing the lawn, came inside, opened a beer and watched the ballgame.  Except I started knitting.

The Knit-Up has started a knit-along on fingerless mitts. These are very hot right now in the knitting world. I can't tell whether it's because they're so easy and gratifying to knit or whether people actually want to wear them, but they're fun. (Like socks, without the heel stuff.) They also make perfect little gifts, say, for 20-something nieces. (They don't read my blog so this won't spoil the surprise.)

I'm starting out easy on Noro mitts, then moving on to Fetching. a free pattern on Knitty.com. If you haven't been to Knitty (and you're a knitter), you're missing out. It's a young, hip, on-line knitting magazine with tons of free patterns and great writing. Check it out. Even if you don't knit.

The Donation Olympics

As the Olympics medals count begins, I'm going to run a donation count, sending money to various organizations that support international human rights, ending hunger, the environment, the Tibet and Darfur struggles, The Sichuan earthquake victims and the Special Olympics.

Today's Olympics donation is to savedarfur.org.

The opening ceremony,which I normally find tacky and trite, was a mind-blowing mix of conceptual art, military-like choreography, film special effects, historical opera and patriotic pageant. I must admit that the spectacle of the 2000 precision drummers was a little scary. Hordes of mechanistic marching soldiers came to mind, but maybe that was just me.

Meanwhile, Henry has found the 100% 24/7 Olympics channel, so we're plugged in day and night. We just watched a badminton match. Now women's weightlifting. It's going to be a long month.

(image courtesy of www.brownielocks.com)

Here's a solution

Now I can watch and feel virtuous at the same time! Letter from International Campaign for Tibet:

Dear Melissa,

I recently wrote to you about an exciting opportunity we've been given to help the people of Tibet: a generous ICT donor has agreed to match all contributions that we receive — dollar for dollar — up to a total of $100,000!

Starting tomorrow, world attention will be focused on the Beijing Olympics.  Despite the official story most of us will see on television, we know there is an additional truth that cannot be ignored — that tensions in China are at an all-time high and Tibetans are paying the price. Please send a generous gift today, so we can make the most of this remarkable opportunity to help.

Make a gift today — and it will have double the impact for the people of Tibet.

Since March and April — when entire towns across Tibet rose up in protest against almost a half century's worth of Chinese oppression — the crackdown by Chinese authorities has been brutal. But even before the protests, Tibetans were suffering injustices every day that Westerners would consider appalling:

	The Chinese government detains and often imprisons Tibetans for "splittest" activities like owning a Tibetan flag or offering a prayer for the health of the Dalai Lama.
	The Chinese have a clear history of torturing Tibetan political prisoners they have detained without charge.
	Tibetan monks and nuns are sometimes forced by Chinese authorities to sign statements denouncing their beloved spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama.
	Chinese border guards have shot at and even killed unarmed Tibetans — including children — as they flee across the border to the freedom of Nepal and India.

The International Campaign for Tibet needs every dollar of this match to help Tibetans — and this is your opportunity to make your gift go twice as far. Please don't delay. Make a generous gift today.

Thank you for standing in defense of human rights and democratic freedoms for Tibetans.

Sincerely, John Ackerly President International Campaign for Tibet

Olympics - to watch or not?

       

The Olympics start tomorrow, and I'm weirdly anxious about whether to "support" by watching or not.

The opening ceremony and most of the coverage is a mind-numbingly boring network spinfest, IMHO. But the actual sports moments are moving, exciting and real.

China is a repressive state who blatantly stomps on human rights. (But so do we, frankly. Gitmo, anyone?) The crackdown in Tibet is getting more vicious by the day, they have ruined their environment and continue to do so despite their supposed reforms, they have made a sham of free trade, and they have not only ignored the Darfur conflict, they're supplying arms to support it.

But what does that have to do with us turning on the TV for some sports entertainment?

My watching or not will have zero impact on China or the networks, who've already gotten their advertising dollars for these games. Since I'm not a Nielsen household, my actions won't even affect future ratings. So what's the point? Taking a moral (but meaningless) stand? Better to stop buying Chinese-made merchandise; nearly impossible but somewhat economically relevant.

Is it better to support and pressure change from within, which our govt is supposedly doing?  A convenient excuse for knuckling under China's economic clout.

Henry loves the whole shebang, as most kids do. To him it's an innocent, entertaining, exciting time. Do I bring up the confusing political issues or let him watch happily?

How are you approaching the games? Supporting, boycotting, don't care? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Buddhas everywhere

I go back to this paragraph, and its viewpoint on life, time and time again. I hope it can help you as it has me.

From A Path with Heart, by Jack Kornfield:

"A traditional skillful (and at times humorous) reflection can be used to change our relationship to difficulties....

Picture or imagine that this earth is filled with Buddhas, that every single being you encounter is enlightened, except one - yourself! Imagine that they are all here to teach you. Whoever you encounter is acting as they do solely for your benefit, to provide just the teachings and difficulties you need in order to awaken.

Sense what lessons they offer to you. Inwardly thank them for this. Throughout a day or week continue to develop the image of enlightened teachers all around you. Notice how it changes your whole perspective on life."

Today's OCKP*

*obligatory cute kitten photo

Top 10 Work edition

Today is my department's official last day at our company, though we haven't actually been there for awhile. The swallowing and digesting of Edge by the Big Blue Globe is complete, and we've been spit out. Today we turn in keys and go to lunch, this time with margaritas. So, to mark the day:

Top ten things I'll miss about Edge:

1. My team, my peeps, my kids - I miss their energy and their stories.
2. Working with smart, motivated people who all like each other.
3. The candy in accounting.
4. Casual Friday every day.
5. Playing with the latest "devices" (cellphones)
6. Brainstorming on silly radio spots.
7. Hanging in PJ's office talking about knitting.
8. The warmth and openness of our CEO.
9. The company plane, stocked with donuts and beer.
10. Getting a paycheck every other week - sweet!

Obligatory cute kitten photo of the day

IMG_0289, originally uploaded by Meltrier.

Taa-daa!

It's almost done! Not landscaped yet - I just stuck some pots around it in order to make a plan. You can't really see the water in this photo, but it's there. It's just a trickling little stream here, but I can turn it on full blast for a Niagara Falls effect as well. Tomorrow I'll take endless a few more photos to post. I'd love to show it off - come check it out, corner of Albany and NW 16th.

I never would have taken this project on had I known the amount of work involved, so actually I'm glad I didn't, as it turned out great. It's hard to look at it objectively yet as I still see a lot of finish work to do.

Next I plan to make fake rocks out of hypertufa (cement/peat moss/perlite mix) to fill it in with as I don't want to throw rocks in that I'll inevitably have to haul out. (This is where my friends think I've lost it.) It's either that or look for a job, so I'm off to mix more concrete.

baby cat

It's not easy to take one-handed shots of squirmy kittens in low light.

Baby kitty! How can you resist one?

Must...feed...kittens...

It's a catastrophe around here (get it? nudge nudge).

Judy, the tireless foster family coordinator for the C.O. Humane Society, picked up the 3-day olds since she located a new momcat who hopefully is so confused by the whole birth thing that maybe she lost count and won't notice two more.

Meanwhile, the shelter received 6 more kittens who were found in the back of a truck by the driver who was delivering bags of grain from Petaluma. Without their mom, who probably hopped off to go potty before the trip and was left behind (or bolted). They were emaciated and dehydrated, not having eaten for 3 days.

Judy and I split them up as we seem to be the only ones crazy enough to take on bottle babies. These guys are pretty freaked out and cry constantly and loudly, even while being fed. Eventually they conk out for awhile, then start up again. We're doing crisis counseling on their abandonment issues.

Super cute, though kind of panicky around the eyes. Photos to come.